down melt

I spent the afternoon editing in the big barn, then Hopie and I went and saw my Mom this evening for an hour.  My brothers and my sister Candy were there.  Mom was doing good and feeling well.  It had been a good day for her.  We were all thankful for that. Joey called me right before we left there.  She was having a hard time at the house.   I could hear something new in her voice.  The strength and patience that she’d had all week was draining.  I hurried and came home.  When I walked in, she could barely look at me and was short and upset.  I could tell she was falling apart.   The baby hadn’t been sleeping well and Joey was exhausted, and to add to that, she had been reading some blogs and info online about Down Syndrome and it was hurting and scaring her.  She finally broke down at the table and put her face in her hands.  There were questions and worries and there were tears and apologies for tears.  I told her she didn’t have to apologize and that it was normal and okay to be upset and confused, especially when she was so tired.  I asked her to come in the living room and sit with me and I held her for a long time on the loveseat.  It took a while for the fear to subside and for her tears to dry.  Then like the woman of strength that she is, she smiled and asked, “would you make dinner with me”.  I said I would love to.   We made wonderful salmon salad’s and we drank pelegrino in wine glasses with ice.  It was so fun.  About the time dinner was ready, the baby woke up again.   We took turns holding her while the other ate.  Then we laid her on the floor and let her “play” for a little while while we watched her and thanked God for her and sang-wished her happy one-week birthday… and ever since, Joey has been trying to get her to sleep.  It’s now almost 10 pm and it isn’t working.  Joey’s so tired, so is Indy, but the baby is now the one that’s upset and we have no way to find out what’s wrong and don’t know what to say to make it better.  God I wish I did.  Maybe she’s upset about what Joey read too and it scares her because she doesn’t know what the future holds either?   I’ve been sitting with them while Joey feeds her more and rocks her more, and while Indy fusses and cries.  I wish there more was something I could do to help her.   All I know to do is close my eyes…

Lord, it has truly been an incredible week.  You’ve blessed us greatly.  More that either of us deserve.  With the birth of this beautiful little one, you’ve rewarded us for our faithfulness and also reminded us that you want us to have faith in you more.  Father, we trust you.  We know this is all part of your much bigger, greater plan.   Please be with my wife tonight.  Give her energy when she thinks she has no more.  Give her courage, when she feels fear.  Give her peace, when chaos seems to surrounds her.  And above all, give her love, when she’s given all hers away to me and our little crying baby girl.  Amen.

Joey and Indiana-1
Joey and Indiana-1